It's sad when a two part story can be summed up with the single word "yawn"
I'm not sure what it is that makes me so apathetic towards this story. It's not actually "bad" as such, I think it's more that it's a half-arsed effort on pretty much every possible level. The script, re-introducing the Silurians, is a rehash of... well... The Silurians (which is not good as it had already been rehashed as The Sea Devils) with a few bits of Inferno thrown in and a touch of The Daemons. The effects aren't the cheapest but the CGI explosion at the end looks rather lacklustre and whilst the large scale shots of the city try their best to look impressive, the running around the tunnels sections look as though the tunnels are made from polystyrene. The regulars aren't particularly sparkling, Smith's not quite at his flattest here but he's completely lacking eloquence and the scenes where he's supposedly being all authoritative leave me thinking "well, I wouldn't be doing what you asked me". Thankfully Amy's absent for a lot of the story leaving us left with a very underwhelming guest cast of two scientists, a kid and his tedious parents. And given that they're allegedly heading for Rio at the start of the story, Amy and Rory look very VERY overdressed.
The first part also presents us with yet another impossibly short time scale. They've got twelve minutes before the silurians arrive in the village and somehow, before the clock's even counted down to three minutes they've managed to wire up pretty much everywhere with cameras. Nope, sorry, don't buy that for a second. Nothing in that sequence feels remotely plausible and yet it could so easily have been more realistic (and weirdly probably even tenser) by making the time longer. Alas, they went with twelve minutes and the scene seems more a spoof of Mission Impossible style set pieces than anything Doctor Who related. And when the silurians/homo reptilia do turn up they're missing their third eye and in possession of a very long (and cheap looking) CGI tongue. They don't sound like silurians and yes, the Doctor "explains" this by saying they're a different branch of the family so to speak but, quite frankly, they completely bore me in a way that even the original seven parter would have been impressed by. They've got their magic "we can hack into anything" technology though which seems to be able to turn a computer monitor into a two way camera.
The main problem with the story is the whole ending where Rory dies or, more importantly, the crack and the comments made about time. The Doctor states that there are some points which are fixed and some points which are fluid. To me though, the presence of ANY fluid points completely eradicates the idea of a fixed point. How could you have, say, a fixed point in the year 2040 when here, in 2020, the Doctor's saying that the future can be completely re-written anyway? So problem number one is that we've got internally inconsistent statements about the nature of time. Problem number two concerns the fact that Amy forgets Rory. She's a time traveller, so in the angels story we were told this meant she would remember things that other people didn't. Yet here the Doctor says that as it's her own personal time that's being re-written she could forget? So let me get this right, she's capable of remembering being taken into the middle of a forest (and I would still love to know how she got there unaided if she couldn't open her eyes) and the soldiers who assisted her (but who were then swallowed by the crack) but she almost instantly forgets the person she's madly in love with? Which version of history does the Doctor remember? The version of this story with or without Rory? And with Rory gone, just how did the story actually unfold in the first place? Does this mean that Vampires of Venice never happened (in which case why aren't we over run by fish people) and how have the other adventures changed as surely, without Rory, even The Eleventh Hour would be totally different? And we've now got a combination crack, one which the Doctor can reach into and pull TARDIS fragments from and one which also swallows people up.
Finally, along with prisoner zero and River Song knowing the problems the Doctor will face, we've now even got the Silurians narrating it to us, just how does everyone in the universe except the Doctor know about all this???
So, in short (but not quite as short as a simple yawn), it's a cobbled together left over plot that smacks of lack of effort and starts to show just how badly thought out the crackpot crack plot is coming across. And I demand a third eye!
Wednesday 27 April 2011
The Impossible Countdown - Amy's Choice
Okay, so I didn't quite make it through season 5 before The Impossible Astronaut hit our screens but last week wasn't a good week for Who fans and things distracted me. So only slightly later than planned... probably the best episode of the series.
Everything about this episode cries out "good old fashioned entertaining Who". There's a superb pre-credits teaser (yes, the Doctor's line into the theme is terribly cheesy and fourth wally but who cares, I love it) and I can't think we'd ever see the Doctor having to drop back in on a happily pregnant Amy with husband Rory after having dropped them back on earth.... I mean thank goodness it's all a dream :) We even get a "Space Museum" reference, how cool is that! Oh, okay, don't answer that one.
Just a shame that the superb cold opener is still followed by that theme music/title sequence.
Anyway, one of the greatest characters from season 5 (and, actually, quite a few of the recent seasons) is the Dream Lord. Twisted, bitchy and played to absolute perfection, the Dream Lord really was one of the highlights of the year's episodes. Part of me would like a re-match but I'm not sure how they'd go about doing it now that we know all about him. Well, I say "him", we know nothing really about the Doctor and this is one of the few times that any attempt to look inside the Doctor's mind has thrilled me but this story mostly hangs on us not knowing his true identity till the very end and now we know his way of working as well... oh well, as a one off he was great. Other things that are stunning about this episode include the ice covered console room (oh how I love the look of it, I wonder if when they do another console room we could have an ice themed one?), the CGI TARDIS freezing over and the fact the script doesn't feel like an old Tennant knock off, it actually starts to show the Smith Doctor as actually having his own traits. Completely inappropriate ones admittedly but the self harm line still raises a smile whenever I hear it (the town I live in isn't quite as dull as the dream scenario but oh boy does it come close). I love Rory's practical nature, I think the Doctor building a generator out of a whisk is inspired and death by dissolving into sand is also pretty grim.
As with pretty much everything in season 5 though, it's a story about perception and what's real/what's not. I am starting to get just a little tired of this and Amy is REALLY starting to irritate me now. When this was shown and Amy and Rory finally realised that they were made for each other I really and truly hoped that this would push Amy back to the background and let us concentrate more on the Doctor... we'll see how that panned out when I face the next two parter.
"Amy's Choice", absolutely superb. I know quite a few people didn't like it but this, to me, is how a Doctor Who love story should be done. Creepy, surreal and with possessed OAPs being hit with bits of wood. I just wish it could all have been like this.
Everything about this episode cries out "good old fashioned entertaining Who". There's a superb pre-credits teaser (yes, the Doctor's line into the theme is terribly cheesy and fourth wally but who cares, I love it) and I can't think we'd ever see the Doctor having to drop back in on a happily pregnant Amy with husband Rory after having dropped them back on earth.... I mean thank goodness it's all a dream :) We even get a "Space Museum" reference, how cool is that! Oh, okay, don't answer that one.
Just a shame that the superb cold opener is still followed by that theme music/title sequence.
Anyway, one of the greatest characters from season 5 (and, actually, quite a few of the recent seasons) is the Dream Lord. Twisted, bitchy and played to absolute perfection, the Dream Lord really was one of the highlights of the year's episodes. Part of me would like a re-match but I'm not sure how they'd go about doing it now that we know all about him. Well, I say "him", we know nothing really about the Doctor and this is one of the few times that any attempt to look inside the Doctor's mind has thrilled me but this story mostly hangs on us not knowing his true identity till the very end and now we know his way of working as well... oh well, as a one off he was great. Other things that are stunning about this episode include the ice covered console room (oh how I love the look of it, I wonder if when they do another console room we could have an ice themed one?), the CGI TARDIS freezing over and the fact the script doesn't feel like an old Tennant knock off, it actually starts to show the Smith Doctor as actually having his own traits. Completely inappropriate ones admittedly but the self harm line still raises a smile whenever I hear it (the town I live in isn't quite as dull as the dream scenario but oh boy does it come close). I love Rory's practical nature, I think the Doctor building a generator out of a whisk is inspired and death by dissolving into sand is also pretty grim.
As with pretty much everything in season 5 though, it's a story about perception and what's real/what's not. I am starting to get just a little tired of this and Amy is REALLY starting to irritate me now. When this was shown and Amy and Rory finally realised that they were made for each other I really and truly hoped that this would push Amy back to the background and let us concentrate more on the Doctor... we'll see how that panned out when I face the next two parter.
"Amy's Choice", absolutely superb. I know quite a few people didn't like it but this, to me, is how a Doctor Who love story should be done. Creepy, surreal and with possessed OAPs being hit with bits of wood. I just wish it could all have been like this.
Wednesday 20 April 2011
The Impossible Countdown - The Vampires of Venice
And now for the return of Rory. I'm not normally a fan of cringe worthy humour but the bachelor party opening is great. Admittedly I thought that those sorts of events rarely took place the night before the actual wedding but I'm guessing as this is supposed to be small town community then they still do it the old fashioned way. Anyway, Rory's in the TARDIS and the Doctor promises a wedding present trip in the TARDIS (either that or tokens, nice line).
There are two stars of this episode and Rory is definitely one. He's grown up since the Prisoner Zero event and although it takes him a while he copes with TARDIS stuff much better than other people have in the past. Throughout the episode his dumbstruck charm really kept me amused (much needed as the plot's wafer thin) and it's possibly the only time I've ever found a "your mum" joke funny. Mind you, I probably found it funny because I found all the others rather dumb and the dumbness of the... okay, analysing the joke too much. Anyway, Rory's definitely the star character in this one. Amy's being bossy (which does nothing for me) and I'd have probably kicked her out of the TARDIS rather than become one of her "boys". The Doctor's also a bit too goofy in places in this one, the mirror scene in particular is probably supposed to be charming or something but I think Smith over plays it a lot and there's a surprising lack of venom in him given he thinks he's facing vampires, the ancient enemy of his people...
The other star of the show is the whole look of it, it looks fantastic. Often I've really wondered if it's actually been necessary to travel abroad to film things when really the story would have worked anywhere but this tale just looks sooooo brilliant and so sumptuous that you can't help but be impressed by the way it looks. A good thing really as the plot, as I mentioned, isn't up to much. Fish people lost their world, want ours. They make it rain, the Doctor stops the rain, fish people die (one dies at the hands of possibly the world's most powerful makeup mirror). Once more it's a perception story (how many now??) with the fish people wearing perception filters. However, it doesn't quite work consistently. Up until the end bits, whenever the perception filters have flickered off, the human form has been fully clothed but the fish version has been "naked". At the end though, queen fish ceremonially removes her garments before throwing herself in the canal which would suggest the clothes are real? If they are, how on earth do they contain the fish body?
The most important thing about this episode really is that it's setting up aspects of "The Silence" for season 6 (including the world falling silent at the end of the episode). It also deals with cracks so let's see what we're told.
The cracks were everywhere in the universe (so presumably not just where Amy and the Doctor have been recently).
You can travel through the cracks from one part of the universe to another
The cracks close up behind you once you've travelled through them (of their own accord?)
Through some of the cracks they could "see (the?) silence"
Now these, to me, seem to be very different cracks to the ones presented in the previous two parter which seemed to be ones that ate you out of existence if you even went close to them as opposed to ones you could travel through!
Oh and the fish people, like everyone else in the universe, seem to know about Gallifrey and its fate.
It's a weird story, light on plot and hammers home the crack bits rather heavily. It looks great (and I do love the clockwork bits at the end) but it's just not really got enough meat of its own to make it a good story. And one last thing... the Doctor makes it very clear at the end that time can't be changed. So just something of a major change in opinion since last week then. Ho hum.
There are two stars of this episode and Rory is definitely one. He's grown up since the Prisoner Zero event and although it takes him a while he copes with TARDIS stuff much better than other people have in the past. Throughout the episode his dumbstruck charm really kept me amused (much needed as the plot's wafer thin) and it's possibly the only time I've ever found a "your mum" joke funny. Mind you, I probably found it funny because I found all the others rather dumb and the dumbness of the... okay, analysing the joke too much. Anyway, Rory's definitely the star character in this one. Amy's being bossy (which does nothing for me) and I'd have probably kicked her out of the TARDIS rather than become one of her "boys". The Doctor's also a bit too goofy in places in this one, the mirror scene in particular is probably supposed to be charming or something but I think Smith over plays it a lot and there's a surprising lack of venom in him given he thinks he's facing vampires, the ancient enemy of his people...
The other star of the show is the whole look of it, it looks fantastic. Often I've really wondered if it's actually been necessary to travel abroad to film things when really the story would have worked anywhere but this tale just looks sooooo brilliant and so sumptuous that you can't help but be impressed by the way it looks. A good thing really as the plot, as I mentioned, isn't up to much. Fish people lost their world, want ours. They make it rain, the Doctor stops the rain, fish people die (one dies at the hands of possibly the world's most powerful makeup mirror). Once more it's a perception story (how many now??) with the fish people wearing perception filters. However, it doesn't quite work consistently. Up until the end bits, whenever the perception filters have flickered off, the human form has been fully clothed but the fish version has been "naked". At the end though, queen fish ceremonially removes her garments before throwing herself in the canal which would suggest the clothes are real? If they are, how on earth do they contain the fish body?
The most important thing about this episode really is that it's setting up aspects of "The Silence" for season 6 (including the world falling silent at the end of the episode). It also deals with cracks so let's see what we're told.
The cracks were everywhere in the universe (so presumably not just where Amy and the Doctor have been recently).
You can travel through the cracks from one part of the universe to another
The cracks close up behind you once you've travelled through them (of their own accord?)
Through some of the cracks they could "see (the?) silence"
Now these, to me, seem to be very different cracks to the ones presented in the previous two parter which seemed to be ones that ate you out of existence if you even went close to them as opposed to ones you could travel through!
Oh and the fish people, like everyone else in the universe, seem to know about Gallifrey and its fate.
It's a weird story, light on plot and hammers home the crack bits rather heavily. It looks great (and I do love the clockwork bits at the end) but it's just not really got enough meat of its own to make it a good story. And one last thing... the Doctor makes it very clear at the end that time can't be changed. So just something of a major change in opinion since last week then. Ho hum.
The Impossible Countdown - The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone
Right then, let's start with a massively positive opening to the comments... classiest cold opener ever. Seriously, in the whole of Who this two parter starts with possibly the best opening action of any story, ever. And I have to admit that it stays pretty good for most of the first episode and probably quite a bit of the second one as well. It also sets up a few "key statements" about the ongoing plot which will turn out to be very important over the next few episodes... which is where things then start to go a little wrong.
So anyway, after the superb cold opener (and after the less than superb titles which still leave me cold) we get a feisty TARDIS scene with the Doctor, River and Amy. First gripe about the episode, River suggests that the only reason the TARDIS makes the noise that it does is because the Doctor leaves the brakes on. Which would then suggest that EVERY OTHER TIME LORD DOES IT. Sorry, I know it's supposed to be a charming joke about River and the Doctor's abilities but it still really rubs me up the wrong way. On the beach we get a diary scene and when Octavian turns up we find out that River has secrets that the Doctor doesn't yet know about which aren't going to endear her to him. We then get the start of some major "changes" to the angels nature. Now, if you look one in the eye you become one (after a while). Does that mean that Sally Sparrow (from Blink) is slowly turning into an angel? A simple picture of an angel becomes an angel as well and we also find out that they also kill in nasty ways because they enjoy it. It's all wrapped up in some very well directed sequences though with Amy and the monitor screen so it just about moves you on before you have too much time to think about it. The trek through the statues is exceptionally well done with full use made of caves as location footage and it's another mention of perception filters which again means we've got a story about how things are perceived and seen and disguised. The cliffhanger is then... just a little strange. It's one of those ones where you know what's going to happen next but aren't quite sure how it will happen. Then it happens with a bit of technobabble and the story moves on.
So episode one was running through caves, episode two is running through corridors and running through woodland. It doesn't quite look as stylish as the first episode did as the corridors look, well I suppose they just look like rather standard corridors and the woodland bits have a weird look to them that I can't quite put my finger on. It's also a very crack heavy episode...
Things we learn:-
The cracks can be closed by throwing complicated space time events into them
The crack can move and looks as though it's following Amy around
The crack was caused by a very big bang and the Doctor can work out the date of the explosion
Fall into the crack/get too close to it and you're erased from time and everyone forgets about you. However the universe carries on exactly as it was which means that, as the Doctor puts it, "Time can be rewritten". Once the soldiers are in the crack presumably 99.9999% of the universe remembers some weird way that Amy managed to get into the middle of the woodland area on her own (that's got to be some majorly weird re-writing going on!).
If you're a time traveller then you don't forget the people who fell into the crack. And that's probably quite an important one as it might be cropping up again in a few episodes' time
Even though it looks like the crack is following Amy, the Doctor suggests that it might have been there when the cyber king stomped over London and rewrote that as well somehow.
It's quite neat the way the Doctor solves things in this one but there seem to be an awful lot of times in the second episode where it looks as though the angels are clearly looking at each other when they're moving (it's certainly the impression I got anyway). More mysteriousness on the beach (River remembers being there when the Pandorica opened) and then the final scene which is the start of the bullying Amy appearing. To be honest, I really wish it hadn't happened. From this point on Amy becomes very dominant in pretty much every episode and it feels once more as though it's a show about her rather than the Doctor.
Overall, episode one is much better than episode two, the angels are very different this time around and it does look pretty. It is also clearly setting up future episodes so...
Things we learn about River:-
She knows old high gallifreyan
She's travelled in time and views herself as a complicated space time event
She remembers the pandorica (even though the Doctor seems to now think it's just a fairy tale?)
She killed a good man.
It's ALMOST back to the levels of the Tennant years but it seems too ongoing plot fixated in the second part to really thrill me and the constant repetition of the "time can be rewritten" didn't half get on my nerves... Still, an improvement on Victory of the Daleks :) Mind you, pretty much anything would have been...
So anyway, after the superb cold opener (and after the less than superb titles which still leave me cold) we get a feisty TARDIS scene with the Doctor, River and Amy. First gripe about the episode, River suggests that the only reason the TARDIS makes the noise that it does is because the Doctor leaves the brakes on. Which would then suggest that EVERY OTHER TIME LORD DOES IT. Sorry, I know it's supposed to be a charming joke about River and the Doctor's abilities but it still really rubs me up the wrong way. On the beach we get a diary scene and when Octavian turns up we find out that River has secrets that the Doctor doesn't yet know about which aren't going to endear her to him. We then get the start of some major "changes" to the angels nature. Now, if you look one in the eye you become one (after a while). Does that mean that Sally Sparrow (from Blink) is slowly turning into an angel? A simple picture of an angel becomes an angel as well and we also find out that they also kill in nasty ways because they enjoy it. It's all wrapped up in some very well directed sequences though with Amy and the monitor screen so it just about moves you on before you have too much time to think about it. The trek through the statues is exceptionally well done with full use made of caves as location footage and it's another mention of perception filters which again means we've got a story about how things are perceived and seen and disguised. The cliffhanger is then... just a little strange. It's one of those ones where you know what's going to happen next but aren't quite sure how it will happen. Then it happens with a bit of technobabble and the story moves on.
So episode one was running through caves, episode two is running through corridors and running through woodland. It doesn't quite look as stylish as the first episode did as the corridors look, well I suppose they just look like rather standard corridors and the woodland bits have a weird look to them that I can't quite put my finger on. It's also a very crack heavy episode...
Things we learn:-
The cracks can be closed by throwing complicated space time events into them
The crack can move and looks as though it's following Amy around
The crack was caused by a very big bang and the Doctor can work out the date of the explosion
Fall into the crack/get too close to it and you're erased from time and everyone forgets about you. However the universe carries on exactly as it was which means that, as the Doctor puts it, "Time can be rewritten". Once the soldiers are in the crack presumably 99.9999% of the universe remembers some weird way that Amy managed to get into the middle of the woodland area on her own (that's got to be some majorly weird re-writing going on!).
If you're a time traveller then you don't forget the people who fell into the crack. And that's probably quite an important one as it might be cropping up again in a few episodes' time
Even though it looks like the crack is following Amy, the Doctor suggests that it might have been there when the cyber king stomped over London and rewrote that as well somehow.
It's quite neat the way the Doctor solves things in this one but there seem to be an awful lot of times in the second episode where it looks as though the angels are clearly looking at each other when they're moving (it's certainly the impression I got anyway). More mysteriousness on the beach (River remembers being there when the Pandorica opened) and then the final scene which is the start of the bullying Amy appearing. To be honest, I really wish it hadn't happened. From this point on Amy becomes very dominant in pretty much every episode and it feels once more as though it's a show about her rather than the Doctor.
Overall, episode one is much better than episode two, the angels are very different this time around and it does look pretty. It is also clearly setting up future episodes so...
Things we learn about River:-
She knows old high gallifreyan
She's travelled in time and views herself as a complicated space time event
She remembers the pandorica (even though the Doctor seems to now think it's just a fairy tale?)
She killed a good man.
It's ALMOST back to the levels of the Tennant years but it seems too ongoing plot fixated in the second part to really thrill me and the constant repetition of the "time can be rewritten" didn't half get on my nerves... Still, an improvement on Victory of the Daleks :) Mind you, pretty much anything would have been...
Tuesday 19 April 2011
Liz Sladen - A Tear for Sarah Jane
When I started this blog a few months ago it was with the aim of posting slightly caustic, hopefully informative and often silly posts about Doctor Who (plus science when my brain worked). I never thought I'd be writing a tribute to Elizabeth Sladen.
I missed Sarah Jane (first time around) by exactly one week. She left in Hand of Fear part 4, I was born the day of Deadly Assassin part one. Yet as I grew up and became a Who fan there was always talk of how wonderful a companion Sarah Jane had been. I can just about remember watching K9 and Company but I remember being more interested in K9 than any of the humans in the episode. It wasn't until the videos started to come out that I could really appreciate why everyone loved Sarah so. I enjoyed seeing her in The Five Doctors but Death to the Daleks was the first "true" Sarah story I saw. It might not be the best Doctor Who story ever but oh how I love it, mostly for Sarah Jane. I could genuinely believe in the character and had tremendous fun watching her struggle to come to terms with the world around her (I knew it was a relatively early story for her). The videos kept coming and it was one of the few simple "quality" rules about the story. If Sarah was in it then it was almost certainly going to be a fun story to watch. I'm amazingly keen on Invasion of the Dinosaurs (one of my many guilty pleasures) and it's another where it could pretty much only be a Sarah Jane story. Lots of other stories you could just about drop any companion in to and, with slight tweaking, it would still work. But this is a true Sarah story, it's her journalism talents that move things on and drive her to find the truth. No other companion could do what she did.
As every fan does, I reached a certain age and started going to events. Living where I did I had limited access at first but soon started going to events in London and I dread to think how many hours of my life I've spent waiting in line to get autographs. With very few exceptions, the lines for Liz Sladen were always the longest and often some of the slowest moving. She was always brilliant with the fans no matter what their age. Young children, grown up children.... all were treated with kindness and respect and were never hurried. She knew we were all fans, she knew we were there to see her and she didn't disappoint.
There's a reason that she got her own show (eventually). Doctor Who was back and was appealing to all the generations again and, yes, it was pretty obvious that any spin off shows would work. But only one companion from the whole run of Who could carry it off. Only one character actually had enough character to be the lead, only one character could so easily carry the multi-generation appeal over (sorry but as much as I like Louise Jameson or Katy Manning, I don't think the Jo Grant Adventures or the Leela Files would have in any way shape or form worked) and only one companion had the true long lasting appeal. After all, which other companion had already had a spin off TV drama, two sets of audio dramas and regular appearances in the books and comics?
Not a single person I was with this evening could believe the news. Twitter and Facebook have been flooded. And I'm sure that this is just one of thousands of similar pieces being written on blogs the world over by countless generations of fans because Sarah Jane was just "right". Elizabeth Sladen, you weren't just my Sarah Jane, you were our Sarah Jane. We will never forget.
I missed Sarah Jane (first time around) by exactly one week. She left in Hand of Fear part 4, I was born the day of Deadly Assassin part one. Yet as I grew up and became a Who fan there was always talk of how wonderful a companion Sarah Jane had been. I can just about remember watching K9 and Company but I remember being more interested in K9 than any of the humans in the episode. It wasn't until the videos started to come out that I could really appreciate why everyone loved Sarah so. I enjoyed seeing her in The Five Doctors but Death to the Daleks was the first "true" Sarah story I saw. It might not be the best Doctor Who story ever but oh how I love it, mostly for Sarah Jane. I could genuinely believe in the character and had tremendous fun watching her struggle to come to terms with the world around her (I knew it was a relatively early story for her). The videos kept coming and it was one of the few simple "quality" rules about the story. If Sarah was in it then it was almost certainly going to be a fun story to watch. I'm amazingly keen on Invasion of the Dinosaurs (one of my many guilty pleasures) and it's another where it could pretty much only be a Sarah Jane story. Lots of other stories you could just about drop any companion in to and, with slight tweaking, it would still work. But this is a true Sarah story, it's her journalism talents that move things on and drive her to find the truth. No other companion could do what she did.
As every fan does, I reached a certain age and started going to events. Living where I did I had limited access at first but soon started going to events in London and I dread to think how many hours of my life I've spent waiting in line to get autographs. With very few exceptions, the lines for Liz Sladen were always the longest and often some of the slowest moving. She was always brilliant with the fans no matter what their age. Young children, grown up children.... all were treated with kindness and respect and were never hurried. She knew we were all fans, she knew we were there to see her and she didn't disappoint.
There's a reason that she got her own show (eventually). Doctor Who was back and was appealing to all the generations again and, yes, it was pretty obvious that any spin off shows would work. But only one companion from the whole run of Who could carry it off. Only one character actually had enough character to be the lead, only one character could so easily carry the multi-generation appeal over (sorry but as much as I like Louise Jameson or Katy Manning, I don't think the Jo Grant Adventures or the Leela Files would have in any way shape or form worked) and only one companion had the true long lasting appeal. After all, which other companion had already had a spin off TV drama, two sets of audio dramas and regular appearances in the books and comics?
Not a single person I was with this evening could believe the news. Twitter and Facebook have been flooded. And I'm sure that this is just one of thousands of similar pieces being written on blogs the world over by countless generations of fans because Sarah Jane was just "right". Elizabeth Sladen, you weren't just my Sarah Jane, you were our Sarah Jane. We will never forget.
Sunday 17 April 2011
The Impossible Countdown - Victory of the Daleks
Apparently, in his DWM interview, the writer seems convinced that the only reason people don't like this episode is the new look daleks. Personally I don't like it because the plot's a steaming pile of badly thought out crud which has clearly started with the words "spitfires in space" and not really gone much past the thinking about things in any detail stage.
Starts well, the very short cold opener is a corker with the daleks established straight away (thankfully no surprise reveals here as in Destiny, Planet, Genesis etc). The Doctor's late for an appointment once more (more of which next episode) and Amy did at least take the time to get dressed (as did Churchill). When the "ironsides" show up they're superb. And then the plot kicks in and things start to fall apart. Apparently it was only "a few months ago" that Bracewell came up with the idea of the daleks. Presumably he worked on them 100% on his own otherwise why would no one else start to question the speed at which completely perfect, working devices were created with technology way beyond anything we ever had. And presumably no one else had access to the plans or to any of the "technology" used to create them otherwise someone else might have conceivably tried to make them. The fact there's a dalek gun laying around in Bracewell's lab and no one's even suggested giving the foot soldiers these to assist in the war? Also, wouldn't Torchwood be just a little interested?
Winston Churchill, the "brilliant" Winnie, continues the long running UNIT style tradition of not paying a blind bit of notice to the Doctor who has, presumably, had a great track record with them in the past but presumably he's too hot on Bracewell (who the daleks have presumably somehow created an absolutely perfect cover/background story for in order for the government to take him on?) to care. After all, Bracewell has "musings" on anti gravity devices and hyper sonic thingies.
So the daleks then reveal themselves as being bad (I'm guessing the Doctor's bored of saying "I told you so" by now?) and shoot Bracewell's hand off to show how evil they are. And somehow, once the hand's been blow away, Bracewell's arm gets suspiciously longer. I'm guessing that no-one notices as they're all wondering just why a loon in a bow tie going "you're the daleks" suddenly made them go bad. Apparently it's because the daleks' progenitor won't recognise the daleks as daleks but will recognise someone saying "you're the daleks". Which does raise the question of where are these daleks from? Are they the ones that were grown from Davros' cells (which would make them pretty pure)? Presumably they've got to be from the pre-Davros time in which case where did they come from as they were all sucked back into the void? But whatever, apparently the progenitor is going to make new "pure" daleks, though I'm guessing they're not too worried about being pure in the casing front as the new daleks are unlike any we've seen before. I just want to go up to them and see if they make a buzzer sound when you press their head down. Nothing I can really say about the new daleks that hasn't been said a thousand times before on other websites. Then the new daleks decide to turn Bracewell into a giant bomb, just before they do a runner. Thankfully though there's a very convenient "emotion over-ride" cut off that I'm sure the daleks put in just in case they somehow needed to deactivate the bomb that they wanted to be de-activate-able? A bomb, by the way, that must be of Slitheen design as once it's revealed suddenly makes his body look twice as big.
I've saved the "spitfires in space" bit till last. Earlier in the episode Bracewell suggests that he has "musings" about anti gravity devices. When the daleks somehow light up the whole of London, we're told that the Nazis are ten minutes away. So somehow the brits take musings, get them fitted to spitfires, launched and up to the dalek ship in well under ten minutes. The pilots are familiar enough with the devices to be able to fly the planes perfectly and do fancy manoeuvres. Right. Okay. And none of the other scientists question this, remember how to make things? The Doctor manages to completely clear everything away that's dalek tech (other than the gun still clearly visible in the lab along with other things) and presumably wipes everyones' memory as well?
I don't hate Victory of the Daleks because of the new look daleks. Completely implausible, impractical and over the top daleks fit in with the massively unrealistic plot and the grossly overblown nature of the story (how long does the ending drag on for???). Even the small things bug the hell out of me, when the TARDIS dematerialises infront of Amy and Winston, Amy's hair is blown around artistically but Winston's cigar smoke floats on unhindered.
Oh, the crack appears about three quarters of the way through as it's not there when the TARDIS takes off for the first time but it's there when it goes for the second. And we find out that Amy doesn't remember the daleks at all. Sadly, the rest of us will suffer the memories of "Victory of the Daleks" for a long time to come...
Starts well, the very short cold opener is a corker with the daleks established straight away (thankfully no surprise reveals here as in Destiny, Planet, Genesis etc). The Doctor's late for an appointment once more (more of which next episode) and Amy did at least take the time to get dressed (as did Churchill). When the "ironsides" show up they're superb. And then the plot kicks in and things start to fall apart. Apparently it was only "a few months ago" that Bracewell came up with the idea of the daleks. Presumably he worked on them 100% on his own otherwise why would no one else start to question the speed at which completely perfect, working devices were created with technology way beyond anything we ever had. And presumably no one else had access to the plans or to any of the "technology" used to create them otherwise someone else might have conceivably tried to make them. The fact there's a dalek gun laying around in Bracewell's lab and no one's even suggested giving the foot soldiers these to assist in the war? Also, wouldn't Torchwood be just a little interested?
Winston Churchill, the "brilliant" Winnie, continues the long running UNIT style tradition of not paying a blind bit of notice to the Doctor who has, presumably, had a great track record with them in the past but presumably he's too hot on Bracewell (who the daleks have presumably somehow created an absolutely perfect cover/background story for in order for the government to take him on?) to care. After all, Bracewell has "musings" on anti gravity devices and hyper sonic thingies.
So the daleks then reveal themselves as being bad (I'm guessing the Doctor's bored of saying "I told you so" by now?) and shoot Bracewell's hand off to show how evil they are. And somehow, once the hand's been blow away, Bracewell's arm gets suspiciously longer. I'm guessing that no-one notices as they're all wondering just why a loon in a bow tie going "you're the daleks" suddenly made them go bad. Apparently it's because the daleks' progenitor won't recognise the daleks as daleks but will recognise someone saying "you're the daleks". Which does raise the question of where are these daleks from? Are they the ones that were grown from Davros' cells (which would make them pretty pure)? Presumably they've got to be from the pre-Davros time in which case where did they come from as they were all sucked back into the void? But whatever, apparently the progenitor is going to make new "pure" daleks, though I'm guessing they're not too worried about being pure in the casing front as the new daleks are unlike any we've seen before. I just want to go up to them and see if they make a buzzer sound when you press their head down. Nothing I can really say about the new daleks that hasn't been said a thousand times before on other websites. Then the new daleks decide to turn Bracewell into a giant bomb, just before they do a runner. Thankfully though there's a very convenient "emotion over-ride" cut off that I'm sure the daleks put in just in case they somehow needed to deactivate the bomb that they wanted to be de-activate-able? A bomb, by the way, that must be of Slitheen design as once it's revealed suddenly makes his body look twice as big.
I've saved the "spitfires in space" bit till last. Earlier in the episode Bracewell suggests that he has "musings" about anti gravity devices. When the daleks somehow light up the whole of London, we're told that the Nazis are ten minutes away. So somehow the brits take musings, get them fitted to spitfires, launched and up to the dalek ship in well under ten minutes. The pilots are familiar enough with the devices to be able to fly the planes perfectly and do fancy manoeuvres. Right. Okay. And none of the other scientists question this, remember how to make things? The Doctor manages to completely clear everything away that's dalek tech (other than the gun still clearly visible in the lab along with other things) and presumably wipes everyones' memory as well?
I don't hate Victory of the Daleks because of the new look daleks. Completely implausible, impractical and over the top daleks fit in with the massively unrealistic plot and the grossly overblown nature of the story (how long does the ending drag on for???). Even the small things bug the hell out of me, when the TARDIS dematerialises infront of Amy and Winston, Amy's hair is blown around artistically but Winston's cigar smoke floats on unhindered.
Oh, the crack appears about three quarters of the way through as it's not there when the TARDIS takes off for the first time but it's there when it goes for the second. And we find out that Amy doesn't remember the daleks at all. Sadly, the rest of us will suffer the memories of "Victory of the Daleks" for a long time to come...
Spin Off City - Auton 3
I'm guessing they must have filmed this on a Sunday morning as it's one of the most successful "deserted cities" film I've seen in a long time. Mind you, the fact that I was spending time looking at the background is probably not a great thing when I should have been concentrating on the plot...
New psychic who shares a "special link" with Jo Castleton's returning character turns out to be a bit of a (hmmmm, not sure that word is allowed on blogger). An entire town's worth of citizens has disappeared, Lockwood's back from Sentinel Island but has the nestene energy inside his mind and it's desperate for the weird alien chip thingy that's inside there as well. And there's a lot more running round, not through corridors or woods but through the empty streets. Then Lockwood's completely stitched up and everyone's either dead or miserable.
As with the other two it could probably drop about 15 minutes and the autons are now dressed in black jeans, black sweaters and sensible shoes. Somehow that just doesn't make them terrifying any more, more like pretentious poets wearing white gloves. Yes there's decent looking CGI but I just couldn't get in to the plot enough to really care. Lockwood spends most of the hour blissed out in a dream state and I was pretty jealous of him by the end. I'm sure it was a very worthy three hours' worth of video but deep inside I couldn't help but think it should have been slightly less on CGI, slightly more on redrafting the scripts and a better look for the autons in what should have been their climatic hour.
New psychic who shares a "special link" with Jo Castleton's returning character turns out to be a bit of a (hmmmm, not sure that word is allowed on blogger). An entire town's worth of citizens has disappeared, Lockwood's back from Sentinel Island but has the nestene energy inside his mind and it's desperate for the weird alien chip thingy that's inside there as well. And there's a lot more running round, not through corridors or woods but through the empty streets. Then Lockwood's completely stitched up and everyone's either dead or miserable.
As with the other two it could probably drop about 15 minutes and the autons are now dressed in black jeans, black sweaters and sensible shoes. Somehow that just doesn't make them terrifying any more, more like pretentious poets wearing white gloves. Yes there's decent looking CGI but I just couldn't get in to the plot enough to really care. Lockwood spends most of the hour blissed out in a dream state and I was pretty jealous of him by the end. I'm sure it was a very worthy three hours' worth of video but deep inside I couldn't help but think it should have been slightly less on CGI, slightly more on redrafting the scripts and a better look for the autons in what should have been their climatic hour.
Spin Off City - Auton: Sentinel
Two years down the line and the autons are back with location filming, a CGI budget and a slightly better production. This time it's not a simple run around and shoot things story and there's no strawberry jam menacing people.
Somehow Winslet (from the previous release) has set himself up as the Vicar on Sentinel Island (I couldn't help but think of the Master in "The Daemons") and has a very devoted congregation. Any that weren't devoted were simply killed. Well, it keeps the numbers constant I suppose. The nestene needs Lockwood and newcomer Natasha Alexander (a psychic from UNIT) in order to re-awaken the creature beneath the church (and also the audience). There's more gunplay in this one (the budget definitely stretched to cover scenes that could almost be described as action based) and there's a church to damage at the end. It's still not particularly challenging on the plot front but there's more atmosphere to it this time. There's undertones of homo-eroticism in there, some almost respectable CGI work at the end and a set of extras that actually makes it feel like it had a lot of people throwing their effort into it. In spite of all this, it still falls slightly flat. My mind struggled to focus on it fully, things didn't move fast enough to keep me occupied and the ending is clearly setting up the third one. But it's still a massive improvement on the original (not overly challenging I know) and this time it felt as though it wasn't quite being made up as it went along. And it's much prettier to look at.
Somehow Winslet (from the previous release) has set himself up as the Vicar on Sentinel Island (I couldn't help but think of the Master in "The Daemons") and has a very devoted congregation. Any that weren't devoted were simply killed. Well, it keeps the numbers constant I suppose. The nestene needs Lockwood and newcomer Natasha Alexander (a psychic from UNIT) in order to re-awaken the creature beneath the church (and also the audience). There's more gunplay in this one (the budget definitely stretched to cover scenes that could almost be described as action based) and there's a church to damage at the end. It's still not particularly challenging on the plot front but there's more atmosphere to it this time. There's undertones of homo-eroticism in there, some almost respectable CGI work at the end and a set of extras that actually makes it feel like it had a lot of people throwing their effort into it. In spite of all this, it still falls slightly flat. My mind struggled to focus on it fully, things didn't move fast enough to keep me occupied and the ending is clearly setting up the third one. But it's still a massive improvement on the original (not overly challenging I know) and this time it felt as though it wasn't quite being made up as it went along. And it's much prettier to look at.
Spin Off City - Mindgame
Okay, the ultimate in "we have no budget but want to make something anyway".
Terrance Dicks gets given two sets, a Sontaran (looking decent this time), a Draconian and Sophie Aldred. He also gets given a gorilla mask and told to work that into it as well. Thirty minutes of talking later, the man in the gorilla mask declares the experiment over as the three others decided to get along with each other and not fight. And as it's Terrance Dicks, the polarity gets reversed to save the day. And that's about it really. Thirty minutes of aliens being nice to each other.
Yet it's surprisingly watchable. Everyone gives it their all and plays it deadly serious (even when faced with the monkey man) and only the very last word on screen lets it down (making it clear who they wanted Sophie to be playing but couldn't get the rights). It's not deep and meaningful but it's diverting enough and if you do have half an hour to spare, worth a look.
Terrance Dicks gets given two sets, a Sontaran (looking decent this time), a Draconian and Sophie Aldred. He also gets given a gorilla mask and told to work that into it as well. Thirty minutes of talking later, the man in the gorilla mask declares the experiment over as the three others decided to get along with each other and not fight. And as it's Terrance Dicks, the polarity gets reversed to save the day. And that's about it really. Thirty minutes of aliens being nice to each other.
Yet it's surprisingly watchable. Everyone gives it their all and plays it deadly serious (even when faced with the monkey man) and only the very last word on screen lets it down (making it clear who they wanted Sophie to be playing but couldn't get the rights). It's not deep and meaningful but it's diverting enough and if you do have half an hour to spare, worth a look.
The Doccy Horror Show Part One
Wrote this a while ago, thought it might pass some time for people on a Sunday. If you want the remainder posted, just e-mail to let me know
With apologies to Richard O’Brien
Comments and suggestions to jameshscience@googlemail.com
Martha is sitting in the TARDIS library holding up a book called “Doctor Who – The Unseen Adventures”. She looks at us, puts the book down and then walks over to a bookcase full of videos and books related to other science fiction series.
MARTHA: (Smiling straight into the camera) Glad you could make it tonight…
As she sings the opening number she casually discards everything other than the Doctor Who merchandise on the shelves.
SONG: Science Fiction Four-Part Feature
The Avengers were cool,
Mrs Peel made me drool,
John Steed was an impeccable man.
Quatermass ruled the air,
Gave the country a scare,
You might say that I’m one hell of a fan.
But there’s only one thing
That makes my heart really sing,
It’s the show spanning all time and space.
It’s that classic of shows,
We all know how it goes,
So settle down and get into place.
For a
Chorus
Science Fiction four part feature,
Please don’t laugh at the rubber creature.
The sets are held up with tape and string.
But we prefer it to most anything.
Wo-ho-ho-oh-oh-oh-oh
It’s the all time longest running
Sci-fi show.
Thunderbirds were all go
But I think we all know
What they did together late at night.
And Blake’s Seven it tried
But at the end they all died,
Avon grinning was our very last sight.
We all know who’s the tops,
And no it ain’t those Star Cops,
It’s the traveller with the changeable face.
So come on gather round
There’s a seat to be found
And settle yourself into place
For a
Chorus
Science Fiction four part feature,
Please don’t laugh at the rubber creature.
The sets are held up with tape and string
But we prefer it to most anything.
Wo-ho-ho-oh-oh-oh-oh
It’s the all time longest running
Sci-fi show.
You’ve got to kno…o…o…..ow
Wo-ho-ho-oh-oh-oh-oh
It’s the campest science Fiction
TV show.
And books you kno…o….o…..ow
Wo-ho-ho-oh-oh-oh-oh
On the CDs it’s the audio
Sci-Fi show.
As well you kno…o….o…..ow
Wo-ho-ho-oh-oh-oh-oh
So let’s start the science Fiction
Four-part show……..
Martha picks the book up again and starts to read.
The action fades to the sixth Doctor and Mel, running through featureless corridors with the sounds of explosions going on all around them. They reach the TARDIS and the Doctor ushers Mel inside. Once in the console room, the Doctor activates the controls and the TARDIS dematerialises. Mel turns to the Doctor, not noticing the images of the 11th Doctor and Amy (D&A) being projected out of nowhere onto the closed scanner screen…
MEL: (bored) Another planet rescued.
DOC: (Smugly) Yes.
MEL: Another villain defeated.
DOC: Yes.
MEL: I’m going to get some carrot juice….
She heads towards the interior door of the TARDIS but the Doctor stands in her way. The intro music starts over which the Doctor speaks the opening few lines
DOC: Mel, don’t you have something to say?
MEL: Not really.
DOC: Didn’t you like the skilful way… (Mel tries to get past again but the Doctor stops her once more) I fought the bad guys and swept them away…
(The music begins in earnest and the Doctor launches into the full musical number)
SONG: Well, Mel
DOC:
The villains were bad but they soon fell
D&A:
Well Mel…
DOC:
I sent them all off to their own hell
D&A:
Well Mel…
DOC:
Gave the planet free trade so they could sell
D&A:
Well Mel…
DOC:
I’ve one thing to say and that’s
Well, Mel, ain’t I swell?
The planet is free and will do well
D&A:
Well Mel…
DOC:
Our names will live on and tales they’ll tell
D&A:
Well Mel…
DOC:
How we locked up the King in his own cell.
D&A:
Well Mel…
DOC:
I’ve one thing to say and that’s
Well, Mel, ain’t I swell?
There’s no need to fear when I’m around…
D&A:
Oh oh oh oh
DOC:
I’ll save the day and help the good guys win
I’ll run the baddies into the ground
Oh M E L I’ll soon wipe out all sin!
MEL:
It’s nice that you’re good but I’m so bored
D&A:
Time Lord
MEL
I know all the victories you’ve scored
D&A:
Time Lord
MEL:
The good side is something you’ve adored
D&A:
Time Lord
MEL:
But when all’s said and done I say
Lord, I’m bored
Can’t you tell?
Oh Lord
DOC:
But Mel...
MEL:
I’m bored…
DOC:
I’m swell
MEL:
Of you
DOC:
I know just what to do
There’s a place I’ll take you to…o…oo
The flowers all grow in a small dell
D&A:
Well Mel…
DOC:
It’s pollution free so there’s no smell
D&A:
Well Mel…
DOC:
It’s the Eye of Orion near Rigel…
D&A:
Well Mel…
DOC
We’ll head there now. I can tell
Mel
You’ll love it too.
Well, Mel
I can tell
You’ll love it too…….
We return to Martha in the TARDIS library. She’s got headphones on and is clearly listening to something other than the previous song. When she realises that we can see her, she takes them off in a hurry and tries to hide them.
MARTHA:
I’m going to tell you a story. You’re here so you might as well listen to it. It’s basically the bog standard start to one of these stories, the Doctor has persuaded his companion, Melanie Bush, to go to the Eye of Orion with him. Geeze… how many of us have fallen for that one eh? Anyway, as usual the TARDIS wasn’t exactly in full working order and the spares box was embarrassingly empty. Still, when’s that ever stopped the Doctor…?
The interior of the TARDIS and the Doctor is fussing over the controls. Mel walks in.
DOC: We’re almost there Mel.
MEL: You said that half an hour ago Doctor, I thought that travel in the TARDIS was supposed to be instantaneous?
DOC: It is. The navigation circuits are a little disorientated, they must have skipped a dimension or two a while back.
(Part of the console explodes)
MEL: What was that bang?
DOC: A gang-bank of circuits just blew. (He waves the smoke away and then activates the scanner). There’s a small planetoid over there, I’ll just set us down and see if we can get any spares. (Mel gives the Doctor one of her “I don’t believe you” looks) Don’t worry, I’ll set us down quite close to it.
MODEL SHOT: The TARDIS lands a good mile to so from the only building on the planetoid, a strange looking castle…
SONG: There’s a Plot
The Doctor and Mel leave the TARDIS and start walking towards the castle. The music starts along with the rain. The Doctor puts up his umbrella and marches on ahead with Mel struggling to keep up.
MEL
In the velvet darkness
Of this starless world
We’ve been hurled
Into mystery.
Can’t we ever do things easily?
Chorus
D&M
There’s a plot
VOICES
Starting at the castle-like place
D&M
There’s a plot
VOICES
Threatening the whole human race
D&M
There’s a plot, a plot
Will we ever leave this dark and dismal place?
DOC
So I parked the TARDIS
In the wrong place
Some disgrace
Can’t she ever see
There’s more to life than doing things easily.
Chorus
D&M
There’s a plot
VOICES
Starting at the castle-like place
D&M
There’s a plot
VOICES
Threatening the whole human race
D&M
There’s a plot, a plot
Will we ever leave this dark and dismal place?
11thDOC
The companions must get
Into danger
And start screaming.
So large a threat
That they stop the audience dreaming
Give them a fright, scare them just right………
Chorus
D&M
There’s a plot
VOICES
Starting at the castle-like place
D&M
There’s a plot
VOICES
Threatening the whole human race
D&M
There’s a plot, a plot
Will we ever leave this dark and dismal place?
The Doctor and Mel stand outside the door to the castle. Both are soaked to the skin. The Doctor presses the door bell and it rings with the Master’s theme from “The Daemons”. The door opens and the 11th Doctor is framed in the doorway. He looks Mel up and down.
11thDOC:
You’re completely and utterly… (he pauses)
MEL:
Wet?
11thDOC:
Well I suppose that’s one word for it.
DOCTOR:
Our transport has broken down and I was wondering if I might bother you to see if you’ve got any spare parts.
11thDOC:
(after another pause) I think you’d better both (starts to tell them what to do in no uncertain terms but stops himself)… no sorry this is allegedly a family show. I think you’d better both come inside.
He leads the Doctor and Mel inside
Inside the castle there are sounds of a party going on in the background. Stuffed aliens are mounted on the walls, some of them clearly shrunk to a very small size. The Doctor takes it all in his stride, Mel clings to his arm nervously.
DOC:
(to the 11th Doctor) Do I know you?
11thDOC:
Well I don’t know you.
MEL:
Are you having a party?
11thDOC:
You’ve come on a rather special night, the Master is announcing one of his affairs…
MEL:
The Master???
DOC:
Oh don’t worry, probably just an affectionate name for the owner of the house. I mean what would the evil Time Lord Master be doing hiding on a remote planetoid in a bizarre building surrounded by strange people that look awfully familiar and with the shrunken corpses of dead aliens hanging on the wall?
For the first time we see Amy laying seductively along the banister of the stairs that lead up in to the higher floors of the castle. She licks her lips and strides over to the Doctor. Jo Grant taps her way down the stairs and jiggles over to Mel.
AMY:
I’m familiar, you’re familiar… it’s all too familiar!
SONG: Let’s See the Plot Twist Again
11thDOC:
It’s astounding
Borders on creepy
How the plot twists
Take control.
So far it’s been linear
AMY:
Not for very much longer
11thDOC:
Because we’re gonna
Consume your soul!
I remember
Reading the Targets,
Plot twists
Were simple then.
But the series was cancelled
And the Virgins were calling
Chorus
ALL
Let’s see the plot twist again.
Let’s see the plot twist again.
MARTHA
They took a jump to the left
ALL
Then they went back in time
MARTHA
As the vortex they’d rip
ALL
You’d feel far from fine.
And as the past was changed
It really drove you insane
Let’s see the plot twist again.
AMY:
Things got dreamy
Dream sequences freed me
But could you read me?
No not at all.
We skipped over dimensions
With continuity mentions
And deluded
We killed all!
11thDOC:
Then the virgin’s were finished
AMY
But the range’s not diminished
Still nothing will ever be the same
The Eight Docs rocked the nation
11thDOC
Left us under sedation!
ALL
Let’s see the plot twist again.
Let’s see the plot twist again.
JO
I was flicking through a book
Jumping from page to page
When I suddenly thought
I’m in a different age
But things were all shooken up
It took me by surprise
The third Doctor’s dead
But on Dust he lies
I stared at it
And I felt the change
The plot meant nothing
Never would again
Chorus
ALL
Let’s see the plot twist again.
Let’s see the plot twist again.
MARTHA
They took a jump to the left
ALL
Then they went back in time
MARTHA
As the vortex they’d rip
ALL
You’d feel far from fine.
And as the past was changed
It really drove you insane
Let’s see the plot twist again.
MARTHA
They took a jump to the left
ALL
Then they went back in time
MARTHA
As the vortex they’d rip
ALL
You’d feel far from fine.
And as the past was changed
It really drove you insane
Let’s see the plot twist again.
As the song ends, the Doctor and Mel back away into the hallway and find themselves at the base of the lift. They fail to notice the lift descending and it’s cloaked inhabitant beating his foot on the floor rhythmically.
MEL:
Okay Doctor, I don’t think these people are going to be able to help us.
DOCTOR:
Oh it’s just a party Mel, nothing to worry about.
MEL:
Well I want to leave.
DOCTOR:
We can’t go anywhere until we’ve got spares for the TARDIS.
MEL:
I hadn’t forgotten.
DOCTOR:
I know but it’s an important plot point so I needed to remind the audience.
The lift shaft reaches the bottom. Inside the cloaked figure is facing away from us.
MEL:
If we don’t leave here soon then I’ll scream!
DOCTOR:
Relax Mel, I’m here what could possibly…
He turns round to face the lift just as the figure in the lift turns to face us. It’s the John Simm MASTER. The Doctor screams.
SONG: I’m Just An Evil Time Lord
MASTER:
How d’ya do I
See you’ve found my
Secret, Evil Lair!
But don’t get bought down
If you’re soon chained up,
All my wicked plans with you I’ll share.
Don’t get freaked out
By the plots that I’ve cooked
Don’t judge a plan by its cover.
I’m not much of a one
For thinking ahead
And the snags I’m sure you’ll soon discover.
The Master throws back his cloak. He’s wearing his immaculate outfit complete with bleached blond hair
I’m just an Evil Time Lord.
The biggest crime lord,
Go find your saviour.
Let me show you around
Show you the things that I’ve found,
Let you voice your good intentions.
Then I’ll let you run free
In time to defeat me
With one of your cunning inventions.
I’m just an Evil Time Lord.
The biggest crime lord,
Go find your saviour.
DOCTOR:
I’m glad we caught you mid scheme
Time to ruin your dream
Going to set you right back to square one.
But I’ll give you the floor
Till the end of part four
When the viewers will see that I’ve won!
MASTER:
So you think that you’ll win
Gonna vanquish my sin
Well Doctor, don’t you boast.
By the end of the night
It’ll be far from alright
To victory, I’ll soon coast.
I’m just an Evil Time Lord.
The biggest crime lord,
Go find your saviour.
I’ve been making a man
To help out with my plan
And I think that he’ll win viewers back.
It’s time to start up the fun
It’s the end of part one
So I’ll let you know I’ve built me a Jack!
I’m just an Evil Time Lord.
The biggest crime lord,
Go find your saviour.
I’m just an Evil Time Lord.
The biggest crime lord,
Go find your saviour.
(spoken)
So, if you think you’re so hot
Come follow the plot
I see you shiver with growing frustr……. ation
Three more parts to go
So I think you should know
I’ll be the baddie…. But your coat’s the villain!
We cut back to the study. Martha’s sitting with one eyebrow raised in disbelief.
MARTHA:
Okay, end of part one. Go off and fast forward through the credits or something…
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